June 4th Weigh In

So guess who completely spaced off weigh in yesterday?  Yeah… That’d be me.  For what it’s worth, I was freaking out about my thesis preview with my Graduate College (which turned out to be an awesome meeting) yesterday morning.  Oh well, life happens.

My weight remained exactly the same as last week when I stepped on the scale this morning.  I can’t say that I’m surprised.  While I stayed busy with my regular walks and arm exercises last week, my eating and water habits were less than stellar.  I usually try to snack throughout the day, regularly grazing on fresh fruits and veggies.  If I keep up with my water intake while doing this, I’m never hungry, and my metabolism is constantly engaged.  While my diet choices weren’t terrible (although, no one would accuse them of being great either…), the portions were.  Shifting from grazing all day to two large meals a day doesn’t work that well.

I’m going to be completely straight and honest with you.  I’m in a funk.  I’m not even sure what to call it, because this is the healthiest funk I’ve ever been in.  But I just feel that my workouts and walks are completely lackluster, and my scale seems to be reflecting that.  I guess for the time being I can blame this all on the crappy weather we’ve been having here.  The temperature isn’t supposed to break 70 degrees all week, and we’re expecting rain now through the rest of the weekend.  Crappy swimming weather, walking weather, and general outdoorsy weather.  I don’t know what else to say.  My heart just has not been in it the past few weeks.  This worries me a little.  Especially when I consider the fact that I have no excuse for my slacking and lack of effort.  I mean, I was able to keep up with healthy eating and exercise habits while I was in grad school full time and working part time, so what gives?  I’m still working part time, but I’ve got tons more free time to devote to doing things right.  Why is it so hard for me to find the motivation to do it then?  I don’t have the answer to this question.  I guess this is why I decided to start this blog.  If I didn’t have anyone reading this (or potentially reading this), I wouldn’t have to admit to anyone when I quietly slide back into old habits.  But the idea that someone other than myself would be disappointed in that decision is keeping me going. Plateaus happen.  I know, in my heart, that if I keep going, I will eventually pull myself out of this.

My goals for this week are pretty basic.  I’m going to restock my fresh fruit and veggies and try to get back into the grazing habit again.  I’m going to reattach my water bottle to my hip and hit it as hard as I can as often as I can.  I’m also going to set up my computer in my basement near my stationary bike so I can watch TV while riding my bike.  I’ve stumbled on a new workout routine (based on scientific studies) that involves a pretty basic weight routine followed by 60-90 minutes of low intensity aerobic exercise (target heart rate is between 115-130 bpm, thus the reason for such a long ride).  I figured that since I’ve got more time to devote to this I’ll give it a try for a few weeks.  If I like how things go, I’ll fill you in on what I’m doing, promise. 🙂

Only 70 lbs to go! 🙂

May 27 Weigh In

Hey all!  Yesterday was crazy busy for me, so I didn’t get a chance to check in.  I lost .8 lbs this week!  Hooray for getting back in the right direction!  I’m a little surprised that I didn’t lose more this week because I spent every day that I could (when it wasn’t down pouring) outside walking, and I stuck to my arms routine like a champ.  It’s probably got something to do with drinking fairly heavily on last Friday night, but I’ll take a small loss over a gain any week. 🙂

There’s really not much that stuck out to me about this last week.  I haven’t scheduled in my workouts yet because my schedule right now is flexing around quite a bit with my various side projects, work, and finishing up my thesis.  I’m fitting workouts in at random times whenever I can.  While this isn’t a big problem for me yet, I’m sure that it will become one if it isn’t solved soon.  I’m jealous of people who don’t have to schedule workouts.  I’m sure my life would be much easier if I could count on myself to squeeze in something at random down points in the day, but most of the time I just can’t.  If I don’t have a set time for exercising, I can usually find something more pressing (or justify doing something that isn’t pressing) that will take it’s place.  I have to have a set point in the day where the only priority is getting on the bike or going for a walk/jog.  Fortunately for me, the arm workouts that I do are easily slipped in to 5 minute slots of down time, which is probably why I’ve been sticking to them as well as I have been.

I’ve also been slacking off with pre-planning my meals this week.  Granted, I’ve been picking up quite a few shifts at work lately, so my time has been a valuable commodity, but that’s a fairly lame excuse.  I did know that I was going to be insanely busy this week, and to help abate my lack of meal planning I doubled up on the fresh veggies that I can pop into a container and go during my latest grocery run.  Easy open tuna (packed in water) has also been my friend for a highly accessible and lean source of protein.  While this is a short term fix (portioned goods are ridiculously expensive compared to buying in bulk!), I feel like I can get away with it this week.

My goals for this week are simply to make it through on track.  I’ve got my water bottle attached to my hip, which has helped me get to a gallon of water drank two days in a row (woo hoo!), and I want very much to walk my usual 4 mile route each day the rest of the week (weather permitting, which it doesn’t look like it will).  If I can’t walk, I’ll bike downstairs instead, but it’s so much more fun to walk around the neighborhood and see what all is new.

Only 69 more pounds to go! 🙂

Body Image

Oh boy, is that ever a loaded couple of words.  This is something that I’ve been struggling with pretty much my entire life, but has been particularly salient for me over the past few weeks.  With the apparently astounding “discovery” that Abercrombie and Fitch only sell clothes to thin and “attractive” women (by the way, this isn’t new, it just seems to be getting a lot of attention lately) or the fact that H&M is using a plus sized model (read healthy sized non-model woman) to sell women’s swimsuits I’ve been thinking over a lot about how I feel about my body.  It seems that I go through this once a year, every year, as the temperature starts to climb and skin-bearing clothing begins to make it’s way out of the back of my closet.  I’ve gone from being terrified of the tiniest jiggle on my thigh to not giving a damn about what anyone thinks of my fat rolls and back more times than I can count.  Last summer was a fairly devastating mix of the two: I “liked” my appearance well enough to ignore all the weight I had gained, but I refused to wear shorts or even to sunbathe (a horrible habit, I know.  I do wear sunscreen every time I’m out just f.y.i.  I’m in it for the relaxation, not the tanned wrinkles).

There are days that I look at myself in the mirror and see a stunningly beautiful and confident woman smiling back at me.  These days are gradually becoming more frequent, even when I am wearing a tank top and shorts.  Losing some weight (so I feel physically better) and re-evaluating my ideas of what it means to be beautiful have helped immensely.  But these days scare me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited at the fact that I am hating on my appearance less than I used to.  It’s healthy and well-adjusted to see that the me in the mirror is similar to the me in my head.  But the fact of the matter is, I don’t know what to do with a body image that is acceptable to me.  I suppose I could go on here about how our culture thrives on telling us how we’re never good enough and there will always be more things that can be fixed, tweaked, shrunk, enlarged, darkened, lightened, elongated, polished, brightened, or otherwise altered.  I could go on and on and on about this.  But the “blame society” horse has been rode to death and beaten, so I will drop my stick move on.  Let’s focus on the self for a minute, specifically myself.

Why do I feel a twinge of panic when I see beauty and confidence in myself?  Of course, there is the fact that this is unusual for me and this is a common reaction to encountering something unusual.  But there’s more than that going on.  I’m scared of becoming complacent.  There’s a war raging on within the depths of my subconscious that has been bubbling over into my conscious lately.  You see, there are two side to me. The first side has been largely silent, but powerfully controlling my mindset.  This is the little girl who is telling me that I need to buy into at least a few of societies rules about beauty and appearance so that I have friends and people who care about me (absolutely ridiculous sounding when I spell it all out, but that’s the root of it all).  The second side is straight up feminist.  She’s been screaming at me over the past few years to fuck society’s unattainable standards; so long as I am happy, who cares what anyone else thinks? I’ve done a good job of shutting the little girl in me out, and listening to the screaming feminist, not because it’s the right or empowering thing to do (which I think it largely is), but because it’s the easiest thing for me to do.  I’m lazy by nature.  I say that not as a self-put-down, but as a statement of fact.  If I can find a reason to justify sitting on the couch and morphing into a sedentary blob, I will latch on and ride it as long as I can.  And I did.  That’s how I got to be 242lbs, unhappy, and in complete denial about what was making me unhappy.  I’ve since lost about 30 lbs, and am much happier about how I physically feel, which has lead to a greater happiness about myself in general.  But I’m worried about latching on to the complacency that I found before.  I truly do believe that beauty standards for women (and men) are ridiculous, unattainable and should be shirked if at all possible.  But I’m worried that I will eventually come to use that as an excuse for unhealthy habits again.  I’m worried that I will become blinded by confidence and backslide on all the progress that I have made.  That is why I panic when I see confidence in my smile.

I’m not sure that this war within me will ever resolve itself.  I hope with time, I will learn to strike a balance between my two sides.  Confidence in body image is a life-long struggle for many, regardless of our weight, shape, general beauty, or other factors.  I’m sure there will be times when the little girl speaks louder than my feminist, and I know there will be other times where my feminist side drowns out the little girl within me.  Hopefully, I can find a way to interpret their messages in a healthy way rather than following the easier path to self-destruction that I’ve walked before.

Weigh In May 20th

I gained another pound this week.  I’m a little frustrated because all things considered, I felt like this week was a fairly good one.  I watched what I ate most of the week (this weekend excluded, which I will get to momentarily), spent most of the week outside walking, gardening, or otherwise moving around, and drank plenty of water.  I’m fairly sure that this weekend was what tripped me up.  My fiance and I went to visit his family and celebrate our nephew’s third birthday (I can’t believe he’s that old already!!!).  Now, while I love his family, and very much enjoy visiting them, it is always a food nightmare for me when I go. For some reason, I always seem to forget my Brita bottle for water whenever I travel, and my fiance’s family uses well water (which tastes pretty awful and isn’t all that healthy to drink). So I end up gulping down on their amply stocked non-diet soda (not that diet is much better for you, but at least the calories aren’t there).  And the food choices aren’t much better.  We usually eat out for most of the meals when my fiance and I visit (excluding holidays of course). I think I’ve blogged about this in the past, but when eating out in their small town, the options are gas station food (and pizza from the gas station) or driving to another nearby town for mom-and-pop-diner food (delicious, but absolutely calorie laden).  So I mostly drank soda and ate potato chips, pizza and birthday cake this weekend.

There.  My shameful confession is out.  I’m not ashamed that I drank non-diet soda or ate potato chips and cake, but I’m not proud that they comprised the overwhelming majority of my diet this weekend.  So what am I planning to do about it this week?  Well, I’m going to get back on track.  Slip ups happen.  They happen with me more than I’d like to think about, but one of the things that I’ve learned on this health journey is that it’s not the amount of times that you slip and fall that matters, but rather the amount of times that you pick yourself up and get back on track after.  I’ve already walked around my triangle (I still can’t bring myself to call it a block when it isn’t) which is a little over a mile and worked my arms and shoulders this morning.  I’m 40 oz of water in already (think I’m going to shoot for a gallon today), and I’ve got some “fresh” green beans that I’m going to saute in a tiny bit of canola oil with some mushrooms for lunch.  I’ve got to devote some time to my thesis this morning, so tomorrow I’ll probably spend the day planning my meals for the rest of the week.

Among my usual fitness goals that I am aiming to maintain this week, I have a goal of stockpiling some healthy recipes that I can easily make and that I can convince my fiance to partake in as well.  I’ve successfully transitioned him over to skim milk, lean ground turkey and venison (which is awesome if you or someone you know hunts; otherwise it’s quite expensive and difficult to find)j.  Now I just need to get him into the green veggies (which apparently “is what food eats”).  I am so very successful at staying on track when I plan out meals ahead of time, so if I can find a way to streamline that this week, I know it will help me in many weeks to come.

Only 70 lbs to go! 🙂

May 13 Weigh-In

Hey all!  So after taking a month off from blogging, I’ve kind of lost track of what week I’m on, so I’ve decided to switch up my weekly check-in titles.  The way I figure, this change I’ve started is not a temporary thing, but rather a lifelong process.  It won’t be finished in a number of weeks, so why keep track anymore?

So this week has been a little off schedule for me and I didn’t get a chance to blog yesterday or Monday, but I have been keeping on track.   I gained a pound on Monday when I weighed in.  Not the happiest moment of the day, but I’m still under 210lbs.  This past week, while I’ve been more active (doing a little more than sitting at a desk for 8-12 hours a day), I haven’t been hitting the cardio as hard as I should.  I have been sticking to my arms workout, however.  I can absolutely tell that it is way past time to be working on my upper body!  Just doing a small amount of reps with soup cans (they’re the value size.  They weigh about two pounds each and are WAY less expensive than two pound dumbbells that I will hopefully grow out of very soon anyways) is killing me.  But it’s pretty obvious that my arms and shoulders need the work, so I’ll stick to it.

I’m planning on getting out to walk as much as possible this week.  I’ll be babysitting for a friend off and on this week, so I plan on taking the little boy to the park and on long walks on the nearby nature trail (it’s paved and a beautiful walk) as much as possible.  It is my goal to spend every single day outside as much as possible.  I bought a great stroller last summer at a garage sale that has a ton of storage room underneath, so there will be plenty of space to pack lunch, water, blankets and toys.  I’m really excited about getting out and enjoying the weather with this kid!

Sometime this week I am going to purchase a summer pass to a local public pool.  I know that when the summer heat sets in I won’t be as diligent about running or even taking long walks as I should be. That being said, I’ll need to make up for it somehow and seeing as I’ve already got my super cute swimsuit in my closet, I think I’ve got my summer cardio replacement.  When the pool opens in June, I plan on making it over there at least three times a week.  I’ve decided that I’m not afraid of how I look in a bathing suit (even though I’m not exactly pleased about it just yet), and my fear of what I think others are thinking about me is not going to stop me from exercising and enjoying my favorite summer activities.  If I’ve learned nothing else from my experiences these past months at the gym, it is that no one really cares because they are busy with themselves.  True story right there. 🙂

So goals for this week will be to spend as much time walking outside as I can, stick to my upper body routines, drink water like it’s my job, and get ready for all the fun summer activities I’ve got planned like swimming, hiking, canoeing, biking, and camping!  I absolutely love this time of year and am ready to jump right in!  Only 69 lbs to go! 🙂

Back in the Saddle Again

Hey everyone, I’m back!  Whew!  What a month it has been!  I spent the month curled up in my office at school and at work.  But all that hard work has paid off because finals are done and I’m staring thesis work dead in the face (I’m actually looking forward to thesis work for those of you who were wondering).    The time has come to get back into my wellness routine, and I couldn’t be more excited.

I’m not exactly proud of many of the choices that I’ve made this past month in the realm of my physical well-being.  I think I formally worked out maybe two or three times.  I fell out of the habit of pre-planning my meals for the week because the weekends (when I usually have some free time to do this) were spent in my office at school or at work.  Because of this, and the last-push-of-the-semester stressed out emotional eating, I made more than a few poor food choices, and was sure that I would have gained at least a few pounds after this month off.

However, I did make a few good choices too, that I am absolutely intent on keeping up because they were so easy to keep in my life (even for a stressed out grad student at finals time!  That says something!).  I started parking in the back of the parking lot at school.  I already park in what’s called the B lot (which is for commuter students who don’t live on campus) which is the cheap commuter’s lot.  That means, the lots are usually on the outskirts of campus to begin with.  By doing this on a regular basis (except for the day last week when it snowed.  Yup, snow in Iowa in May.  I love this state with my whole heart, but sometimes… well, sometimes I just… don’t) I added an extra thousand steps to my normal amount of walking each day (and avoided the parking battles that occur near the front of the lot).  I also stopped taking the elevator as often.  Climbing three flights of stairs to get to my office really isn’t as hard as I thought that it would be, and I’m glad they aren’t intimidating me anymore.  And finally, I drank water like I was getting paid for it.  I have a Brita Bottle that all but eliminated my excuses for drinking anything but water.  It was easy to slip into my backpack side pocket, filtered out the nasty metal taste from the fountain and sink water in my office and work, and allowed me to refuse to buy any soda or overpriced bottled water.  In fact, with a few exceptions that I can count on one hand, I drank either water or black coffee exclusively this whole month (I’m convinced it is a physical impossibility to survive the last month of the semester without coffee).

So, expecting the worst this morning, I hopped on the scale and waited patiently until the numbers 208.2 flashed up at me.  For those of you who aren’t keeping track at home, that’s a 2ish pound loss for the month!  Just to double check, I stepped off the scale, went and started my coffee and came back and it read the same thing!  Hooray!

So the plan for this month is to start working on toning my arms.  You may recall that was my plan for last month.  However, two half-assed workouts don’t really cut it for me, so I’m going to start up again.  I want my arms looking in tip top form for my wedding photos this coming September.  I’m also going to implement a few things that I learned on my month hiatus to try to simplify my life:

1: Water is my friend.  Water is my body’s friend, water is my mind’s friend, and water is most definitely my wallet’s friend. Drink and be merry.

2: Those extra steps make a difference.  I’m planning on cleaning my house this next week (all those little things that were put off because I was too busy have finally added up to the point I can’t stand it any more).  I’ll be taking one armed loads up and down stairs (which means more trips, and less chance of dropping things).   I’m also going to be watching a two year old boy for some friends of mine this month on the days that I don’t work my other job.  I’m lucky to live near a park and a recreation trail.  Every day that it’s not raining, he and I will be at the park or on the trail.  I spent too much time cooped up inside last summer (body image stuff and it was SOOOOO hot and dry!) so I intend on soaking up every single day that I can this summer.

3: It’s summer, it’s OK to eat ice cream.  “Slip-ups” aren’t.  No one is perfect all the time, myself included.  And the thing is, treats keep you mentally healthy, and if kept in check, won’t ruin your weekly weigh-in.

4: Workouts are my friends too.  Break time is over.  I’m going to get back into the routine of strength training, especially my arms.  Workouts make me feel good, mentally and physically, and are obviously good for me.  I need to work that routine back into my life, especially since I would like to be in my 180’s by September (which means that I’ve got to do more than causally try to lose weight).  I was lucky to not have gained weight this month and I would like to honor that luck by moving forward with my weight loss.

Can’t wait to fill you in on how this is going on Monday!  Only 68.2 lbs to go! 🙂

Week 34

Hi all!

Again, I’m sorry that I’ve been so spotty lately.  School has been seriously taking over my life lately, and that doesn’t look like it will be stopping any time soon.  So that being said, this will probably be my last post for a while (at least until May 9th).  I’m still going to be keeping up my workout routines, healthy eating, and all this wonderful health stuff (drinking water like it’s my job!), but I just don’t have the time to sit down and write out a full and thoughtful blog very often right now, and that’s not fair to you as a reader, nor is it fair to my schoolwork and personal life (I originally tried to write this Saturday afternoon while I had an hour of “down time” while also trying to share that time with my fiancee.  Let’s just say that I failed in both endeavors and basically wasted the hour).

First things first, let’s talk about my race this past Saturday!  What a blast!  There were just over 1,100 racers that finished the race, so it was such a huge event that I thought I would be intimidated as heck and all out of place.  But when I showed up, I pulled in my VIP parking place and joined my fellow VIP’ers in our nice heated tent (and boy did we need it! 40 degrees with about 25mph winds!  Brrr!!!).  Everyone in the tent was smiling and welcomed me right in.  Several people asked me if it was my first race (I must have dressed like a newbie or something), and offered all kinds of friendly tips and “secrets” about the course.  Within a few minutes, I felt like I was just one of the gang.  When it finally came time to venture outside to line up, I went all the way to the back of the line.  I wasn’t exactly sure how much I was going to run because my knee was bothering me a little, even after I warmed up a bit, so I decided to walk for a while until I felt comfortable giving it a try.  By about the first mile of speed walking, I finally felt warmed up enough to give jogging a try.  I don’t know if it was because my legs were so cold that I couldn’t feel them, the energy in the air of being in a race, the awesome volunteers and fellow racers cheering everyone on, or what, but when I started jogging, I felt like I was running on air.  I jogged for about 1/2 of a mile (I’m pretty sure this is longer than I’ve ever jogged without a walking break) before I realized that I was completely out of breath.  It didn’t even feel like my legs had worked at all!  The energy remained high throughout the rest of the race, and I walk/jogged as I could until the last 1/4 of a mile.  The last 1/4 of a mile was lined with speakers and spectators who had dutifully remained to cheer on us slow-pokes.  I couldn’t help it.  I sprinted to the finish line.  I could barely breathe as the volunteers handed me my beads (it was a Mardi Gras theme and costumes were encouraged.  I’m ABSOLUTELY dressing up next year!) and water.  I couldn’t stop smiling either.  I didn’t run the whole race as I had originally intended at the beginning of the year, but by God, I ran almost half of it!  And I’ve decided that I am absolutely hooked on running!  It’s hard, miserably difficult to stay motivated (outside of races that is), very easy to hurt oneself (especially when one is as overweight as I still am), and I love every minute of it.  My music and the sound of my shoes hitting the ground are finally getting loud enough to occasionally overshadow the voice in my head saying that I can’t run, nor will I ever be a runner.  Screw you voice; just try and keep up with me.  I won’t be stopping any time soon.

And then reality settled in this morning when I weighed in and realized that I had gained about 1.4 lbs this week.  This didn’t really surprise me all that much as I took it easy on the cardio to save up for my race on Saturday, but I still ate like I was running my buns off.  I’m sure you can do the math.  But I’m not down about this too much.  I know what I’ve done wrong, I know what I need to do differently this week, and it’s 72 freaking degrees out right now (even though I’m at work and forced to only sit as close to the window as I possibly can and catch a sliver of sun)!  How can you be unhappy when it’s 72 and sunny?  Hopefully I can sneak at least one jog in before it’s supposed to snow later this week (yeah, you read that right.  Iowa can’t get itself together weather-wise until at least May… *sigh*).    My goals for this month are pretty straight forward.  I am going to get to the gym (or go for a run outside weather permitting) at least 3 times a week.  I am going to drink at least half a gallon of water each day.  I am going to stick to an arm routine (I may break my “last post for a while” bit and post this routine if I get the time later this week, but then I’m done until May!) to get these guns in shape for my wedding pics in September.  And I am going to smile while working out and focus on how good I feel during and after each workout to try and reinforce exercise with good vibes.

Ok, that’s it for now!  Can’t wait to fill you in on some hopefully

2000’s Workout Playlist

I have decided that dipping below 210 lbs is cause for celebration!   Since I’m single digits away from ONEderland, I have compiled a few workout playlists with songs exclusively from the 2000’s (2000-2009).  It’s about time that I freshen up my workout music anyways, and this seems like an excellent (and inexpensive) way to continually celebrate 10lbs losses (e.g. play music from the 90’s when I’m in the 190’s, music from the 80’s when I’m in the 180’s and so on… Though I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get to the 150’s and 140’s…)  So without further delay, the songs that made my lists (P.S. some of these songs are pretty explicit.  I usually don’t pay attention to the lyrics and just go with the beat of the music when I’m working out.  If you’re easily offended, I suggest that probably most of these songs are not for you):

Smooth (Santanna)
Bent (Matchbox 20)
Try Again (Aaliyah)
It’s Gonna Be Me (‘NSYNC)
Country Grammar (Nelly)
Come On Over Baby (Christina Aguilera)
What a Girl Wants (Christina Aguilera)
Never Let You Go (Third Eye Blind)
Blue (Eiffel 65)
Oops!… I Did It Again (Britney Spears) *I bet you $10 that I won’t be able to keep from smiling sheepishly when this song comes on. 🙂
Shake Ya Ass (Mystikal)
Let Me Blow Ya Mind (Eve)
Survivor (Destiny’s Child)
Bootylicious (Destiny’s Child)
Butterfly (Crazy Town)
Get Ur Freak On (Missy Elliott)
Izzo (Jay-Z)
Hot In Herre (Nelly)
In the End (Linkin Park)
She Hates Me (Puddle Of Mudd)
The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)
Get The Party Started (Pink)
Lose Yourself (Eminem)
In Da Club (50 Cent)
Get Busy (Sean Paul)
Bump, Bump, Bump (B2k and P. Diddy)
Rock Your Body (Justin Timberlake)
Air Force Ones (Nelly)
Headstrong (Trapt)
The Remedy (Jason Mraz)
Yeah! (Usher)
The Way You Move (Outkast)
Hey Ya! (Outkast)
Goodies (Ciara)
Lean Back (Terror Squad)
Naughty Girl (Beyonce)
Numb (Linkin Park)
Heaven (Los Lonely Boys)
Stand Up (Ludacris)
Toxic (Britney Spears)
Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas)
Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani)
Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)
Gold Digger (Kanye West)
Candy Shop (50 Cent)
Don’t Cha (The Pussycat Dolls)
Lose Control (Missy Elliott)
Pon de Replay (Rihanna)
Switch (Will Smith)
My Humps (Black Eyed Peas)
Pump It (Black Eyed Peas)
Sugar, We’re Going Down (Fall Out Boy)
Run It! (Chris Brown)
Get It Poppin’ (Fat Joe)
Bring Em Out (T.I.)
Best Of You (Foo Fighters)
Temperature (Sean Paul)
Sexyback (Justin Timberlake)
I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Panic! At The Disco)
Move Along (All-American Rejects)
Dirty Little Secret (All-American Rejects)
London Bridge (Fergie)
Snap Yo Fingers (Lil Jon)
Remember The Name (Fort Minor)
Laffy Taffy (D4L)
Black Horse and the Cherry Tree (Kt Tunstall)
Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)
Party Like A Rock Star (Shop Boyz)
The Way I Are (Timbaland)
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Fall Out Boy)
What I’ve Done (Linkin Park)
Bleed It Out (Linkin Park)
Face Down (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)
Disturbia (Rhianna)
Don’t Stop the Music (Rhianna)
4 Minutes (Madonna)
So What (Pink)
Paralyzer (Finger Eleven)
Shake It (Metro Station)
Paper Planes (M. I. A.)
Low (Flo Rida)
Womanizer (Britney Spears)

Week 32

Hello all!  Sorry I’ve been a little MIA lately.  This past week was spring break for me and I spent most of the week cooped up in my office trying desperately to get caught up on everything that I’ve been putting off this semester.  So to fill you in, last Monday when I weighed in, I had gained 2.8 pounds for the week (weighed in at 212.8).  I was fairly bummed out about the whole thing.  However, because it was spring break, the WRC at school was open all day each week day, so I got to sleep in a little bit before hitting the gym each day.  And while I only got two (official) workouts in all week, I paid attention to what I was eating all week long and stayed on track until Friday.  Today when I stepped on the scale (expecting another gain after the things I ate this weekend), I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was down to 209.2 lbs!  Woo hoo!  I’m not sure how that happened exactly, but I’ll take what I can get.

Like I said, this past week, I stayed on track for food most of the week.  Monday through Thursday was pretty easy to do as I was spending most of my time at my office on campus (away from easily accessible snack foods and temptations).  However, Friday was a different story.  I met up with three of my bridesmaids to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses in Des Moines (a.k.a. in these parts as “The Big City”).  I had a nice big latte (sugar free, but made with whole milk to fill me up) for breakfast (large Starbucks lattes count as a meal, right?).  We walked all over the biggest mall in town and had an absolute blast together!  I’ll admit that I had a No. 1 combo at Wendy’s on the way home (diet coke to boot), but I don’t feel too bad about that considering all the walking and squirming (I wasn’t going to let my maids have all the dress shopping fun!) I did that day.  Then this weekend kind of threw me off track a little too.  Cody’s parents and youngest sister came to town for a visit, so we went out to eat… a lot…  While I didn’t make the best choices (ahem… two doughnuts and pizza on Sunday…), I did very well for myself when we went to a Japanese buffet by sticking to two plates of mostly veggies and fruit.  Again, I am noticing and proud of the fact that I am eating until I am not hungry any more and stopping; even when tempted with an all you can eat buffet (who thought up that idea, really?).

This week will be all about re-focusing and getting back into my routine.  I slept in this morning, so I won’t be going to the WRC until noon today.  I think I am going to give this a try for this week, and maybe next week.  I’ve noticed that by the time that I get home from work on Mondays and Tuesdays (and every other weekend) at a little after 10pm, it takes until about 11 or 11:30pm until I can fall asleep.  When one’s alarm is set for 5:30am, this can make for some exceptionally long days, especially when I don’t have a chance for a nap.  If I can get a little more sleep in, maybe I’ll have the energy to focus on my readings for class, not to mention have the time to properly fuel up for my workout.  If I can motivate myself enough to do homework at home before I go in to the gym, I really don’t see much of a reason for me to have to get up so early any more.  My goals for this week are to make it to the WRC three times (get back in my routine), drink at least 64 oz of water each day (get back in my routine), and to focus on how good I feel during and after each workout.  As my first 5k is a little less than two weeks away (EEEEE!!!!!) I’m going to focus on cardio all week.  I know that I won’t be able to run most of the race, but I’m hoping to be able to walk it faster than I have been in the gym lately.  Only 69.2 lbs left to go!

Center Yourself

The halfway point of my semester is fast approaching, which means that I am busier than ever with school work, thesis revisions, data analysis, regular work (that brings in money), housework, and catching up on needlework projects that I promised I’d get to (birthday presents are graduating to Christmas presents already… *sigh*)  While my exercise routine has been a nice “me time” activity that distracts from all of this a little each day, sometimes I am still feeling frazzled and low on motivation to do much of anything wholeheartedly.  It’s time to pull out the big guns: self-hypnosis (some also call it meditation; call it what you please, the process and results are very similar).

A few years ago at my high school after-prom party (ok… more than a few years ago) I was absolutely blown away by a performing hypnotist that came to do a show for us.  After the show, the man stuck around and talked with anyone who was interested in learning more about hypnosis.  Needless to say, I was hooked and dove head first into learning as much as I could about how to hypnotize myself (and others, though I’ve never tried to hypnotize someone else).  With sporadic practice over the years, I’ve taught myself how to use self-hypnosis (again, or meditation; there’s only minor differences between the two) to center myself, calm my racing thoughts, and promote a renewed sense of motivation and improved mood.  I know that there are many skeptics out there, but at the very least, this exercise will provide you with 10-15 minutes of quiet time, and who couldn’t use that?  I’ve had a hard time finding websites or other free and accessible resources that actually walk you through how to use self-suggesting self-hypnosis (big, long title), so I thought that I would walk you through what I do for myself.

The first thing that you need to do is to find a quiet place where you can be certain that you will not be interrupted for at least 20 minutes (it takes longer when you are just learning, but I’ve been through the process in about 10 minutes on a regular basis lately).  Next, write down on a scrap of paper a goal that you wish to work on in your life.  Make sure that it is simple (e.g. “I will be in a good mood.” or “I will stop eating when I am full.” or “My exercise routine tomorrow will be easy for me.”).  The goal itself doesn’t need to be simple, but the way you write it out should be (makes things a lot easier, I promise).  Next, sit or lay in a comfortable position with arms and legs uncrossed (you don’t want anything falling asleep on you!)  Once you’re comfortable, slow your breathing down to a rate that is similar to when you are about to fall asleep (deep, slower, easy breaths).  You shouldn’t struggle with this, so if you do, just go back to a natural pace and your body will eventually slow it down for you.  When you are comfortably breathing, close your eyes.  (p.s. words in italics are what I usually say to myself in my head.  Other instructions will remain in regular type.)  Relax.  Breathe in (as you breathe in), and out (as you breathe out). Just relax.  Feel how wonderful it is to relax and quiet your mind.  The more and more you relax, the more and more outside noises and distractions seem to fade away.  It’s time to relax all the muscles in the the body now (It helps to imagine a warm tingling sensation or some other sensation that you find relaxing and pleasurable in the muscles as you list them off. ). All the muscles in your scalp are relaxing now.  (Be sure to allow time for each muscle group to fully relax before moving on.  This should be an enjoyable experience, not a race to the finish.) All the muscles in your face are relaxing now.  Now your neck is relaxed.  As your muscles relax, your mind is also clearing itself of busy thoughts.  Your shoulders are now relaxed.  Your mind is becoming more and more quiet as you slip deeper into relaxation.  (continue through the rest of your muscles, going group by group.  Every now and then remind yourself that your brain is also quieting down and becoming more and more relaxed.  If there are distracting noises around you from, say, a street outside, remind yourself that while you can hear them, they don’t matter and your brain can ignore them.) Once you have relaxed all the muscles in your body:  It’s time to go deep into relaxation.  I am going to count from 10 to 1.  The lower the number, the deeper and more enjoyable the relaxation will be.  The lower the number, the less outside distractions will bother me.  The lower the number, the quieter my mind will be.  The lower the number, the more open to suggestions my mind will be.  (slowly count back from 10.  Give yourself a few easy breaths between each number.  Feel free to remind yourself that you’re going deeper and deeper into a relaxed state and how nice it feels.)  After you get to 1:  You are now ready to take your suggestion.  Do you remember what you wrote down?  (say it to yourself in your head)  This task is going to be easy for you to do.  (say it again)  This will be enjoyable for you.  (say it again)  This will be good for you.  (say it again.  Spend some time visualizing you doing the suggestion that you wrote out while you are happily doing it.  Visualizing in a positive way will help you to feel more enjoyment while doing the task later.)  You can stay here focusing on your suggestion as long as you feel like.  I usually go through this script and exercise twice, but more times or just once will probably be just fine.  Good.  Now this suggestion is firmly planted in your mind.  You will be able to do this very easily from now on.  It is time to wake back up.  I am going to count from 1 to 10.  The higher the number, the more you will come out of this relaxed state.  When you come out of this state, you will feel refreshed and ready to take on your suggestion. (Side note here; if you are doing this right before bed, you can also tell yourself that it is ok to go to sleep now.  I’ve found that it’s hard for me to get to sleep right away if I take myself out of the deep state when I do this right before bed.  This may be different based on the person, so take some time to experiment a few times and see what works best for you.) As you count up to 10, allow yourself to gradually pay attention to noises, smells, and other sensations around you more and more.  Try not to open your eyes until you reach 10.  Once you’ve reached 10, you’re fully conscious and done with the exercise.

Now, I feel a disclaimer is due here.  This will not automatically flip a switch and make some horrible task fun and enjoyable all of the sudden.  This will not make you get out of bed at 5:30am in the morning  and go work out without thinking about it (imagine running in a trance… yeah…).  This is a hypnotic suggestion.  That means you’ve planted an idea in your head.  This idea will act like a tiny little nag, pushing you on to your task.  You still have to decide to actually do what you suggested to yourself, but the suggestion acts as another little push in the right direction.